Well, with all this talk about singles being mad at God and everything, I thought I’d lighten things up a little bit with some real talk about what it’s like to date in this crazy world.
So where’s a busy, successful woman supposed to find good men around here, anyway? Now that I’m single again, I find myself spending a lot of my time at the TV station, so I decided maybe the best way to meet some eligible bachelors would be to take it to cyberspace.
Who would’ve known that the world of online dating can be just as hard and just as pathetic as trying to meet people in person? You go to some sites and there’s an abundance of Christian men who just aren’t very interesting (kinda like in church) and then you go to other sites and there are lots of interesting men who aren’t necessarily Christians (like in the world). I already learned my lesson about dating non-Christians (you’ll have to see that story for yourself once the movie comes out 🙂 so of course I’m looking for a Christian man. But I just don’t know what the problem is. Maybe my Christian brothers just don’t know how to represent themselves well in a digital world. So I figured I’d give my brethren a little bit of advice on how to put their best foot forward when representing themselves online:
1) Make yourself sound interesting. I know we all want a godly man who goes to church and reads his Bible and everything, but contrary to what you might think, we do actually like men to have other interests besides reading the Bible. Do ya like music? Working out? Writing? Reading? Eating french fries? SOMETHING? There’s nothing more annoying or boring than reading someone’s profile and the only things they can list under the three most important things in their life is God, their Bible and their pastor.
2) Post flattering pictures. And notice I say pictureS–plural. Don’t just put one picture up there that you took on your cell phone where the lighting is bad, the quality is grainy and the camera is all in your grill. We like to see multiple pictures of you and we want to see you looking your best. Also, please, do away with the pictures from the 1984 Christmas party at your parents’ house.
3) And speaking of pictures. Once again, we know how important church is to you and all, but all of your pictures don’t have to be of you in your church suit. We’d like to know that you have a social life that exists outside of church.
4) Oh and also with the pictures. Stop posting pictures of yourself with no shirt on. That’s just a little bit too much information to be sharing so early and on the internet at that.
5) And speaking of church. Stop pushing your church attendance as your only means to trump other men, i.e. “Women keep saying they want a good man. Well, I’m a good man because I go to church every Sunday and I read my Word everyday.” While I’m sure those things probably do make you admirable, I have met many a man who went to church and read their Bible who just weren’t the right man for me. Once again, we women are more likely to become attracted to you because of your other common interests, not just because you read the Bible.
6) Proofread. There’s nothing that’s more of a turnoff than a profile with terrible punctuation and grammar. Sure, we all misspell a word or two here and there. But when your whole profile is chock full of typos–just no.
7) Tags. Try to stay away from taglines like “I’ll be your chocolate drop.” Or “I’m the best thing you’ve ever laid eyes on.” Sometimes modesty is the best policy and it goes a long way.
8) Oh, and back to the pictures. I had to mention this–don’t post pictures of yourself with other women unless you clarify that it’s your sister or a relative. I once saw someone’s profile picture where the guy was sandwiched in between the boobs of not one but two different women. REALLY, dude??? Just not a good look…
Well, those are some of my pet peeves. What about you? What ticks you off about online dating?
So entertaining, but so true….the men seem to need some assistance in the area, but so do we! Some women tend to write what they “think” a man wants to hear, while painting a picture of someone totally different! I’m glad you wrote about that because I’m trying that route too and not so happy with what I’ve found…thus far! Maybe this can help somebody…anybody…lol.
Just to put it out there bluntly…online dating is a nightmare. Lies and deception I tell you! Why do men lie about their height? If you’re 5’10” do NOT say you’re 6’0″! I mean really, if you lie about that, then what will you say when I ask you a serious question? Oh, and don’t get me started on religion… The sites have this Christian/other option which could mean you’re non-denominational, Jehovah’s Witness, 7 Day Adventist and a slew of other sects…I need to know if you love Jesus. Are you saved? Do you know more than John 3:16? Uggghhh! Don’t do it Clarissa. Leave the online dating alone.
I will say, it has taught me what I don’t want in a man…
I have had my forays into online dating, and my “learnin’ ” from it is this, some people are excellent in person and just really nothing but a huge tool in their profile, and some people are great in their profile but a suicidal maniac in real life. The take-away is this, if they don’t hit your gut as “wrong” somehow, give them a try, people are essentially awkward when they try to market themselves, and you will only really know after meeting them. In public. Near crowds. And you’ve driven yourself and brought your cell phone.
I completely agreed with all of your points for online dating!! I have occasionally checked out online dating (quite unsuccessfully…)
My biggest pet peeve is when much older men send me a message, and even if they’re not being creepy in their message, I still end up feeling a little like deleting my profile. If they are more than 15 years older than my posted category, then they should know better than to online approach me(even if it’s under the guise of just being friendly).
Also to the profile question, “What are you looking for in a partner?” I have stated for starters they need to be in the same geographical location as me. But I still end up with messages from guys accross oceans even, and although on one hand attention is nice, it feels a little pointless to even start a conversation with someone when long distance is never something I would begin or seek out in a relationship.
I know, right?! I get probably five or six guys in their fifties for every one who’s close to my age. I’ve completely given up the online thing. (For now, anyway.) 🙂