Archive for January, 2010

Second Chance for Love

Well, here we are–23 days into 2010.

As I look back not just on 2009 but on the past few years altogether, I realize that there are so many things I’d do differently. I often wish that God would give me another chance at some of those things so that I could redeem my foolish behavior. But the funny thing is that I think He does.

Everyday is a new opportunity to make up for something we failed to do in the past. If you failed to treat someone right in the past, God has given you another chance to love someone else today. If you made a wrong decision in the past, God has given you another chance to make a right one today. Everyday when I wake up in the morning, I say to God, “Thank you for another chance to do it over again.” We always have opportunities to do better. After all, in the words of Maya Angelou “When you know better, you do better.”

But do you ever think that there are some circumstances where you don’t get a second chance? Take love for example. When I think about past loves and likes, I can’t help but think about the ones I foolishly let slip away because of my own insecurities, misunderstandings or whatever I was lacking at the time. Sometimes what we’re looking for is sitting right up under our nose but we fail to see it because we’re too busy looking elsewhere–whether it be other people or other flaws that are really insignificant in the grand scheme of things. There are some loves and likes that I wish I could have second chance, but my chances have been taken by takers on the offer. So much for a second chance there. But at least those are still lessons learned for my next encounter with the opposite sex.

So what about you? Do you ever think about old loves? I know that the past is the past, but do you ever wonder what would have happened if you had confronted that secret crush? Or if you had never broke up with that amazing guy who had that one flaw that at the time seemed to be so major? What if you had a second chance with the one you let slip away?


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An Update

This is just a little note to let you know we’re still out here. We’re still out here and stuff’s about to get hot! We are moving fast toward our goal of shooting the feature. The shooting of the promo piece went off without a hitch and we’re going to unveil it to you all on Valentine’s Day. Just our little Valentine to all the singles out there!

And in the spirit of continuing our discussion on singleness, marriage and attitudes toward each, I had a bit of an epiphany today. A friend of my family’s has had a rough go of it in her marriage. She was married young to a man who struggled with bipolar disorder. She eventually was divorced from him, but because she believes marriage to be for life, she’s hanging on to the idea that eventually they’ll be reconciled. She even still wears the ring set. That tenacity and sense of permanence that almost seem to hold her captive make my heart ache for her. But they also made me breathe a deep sigh of relief for potential life bullets I’ve dodged.

Societal pressure pushes a lot of people into bad partnerships. Sometimes they’re bad because they’re wrong pairings. Sometimes they’re bad because they come too early. But the point is, I felt that pressure to get married. I don’t really feel it anymore, but when I was in my 20s, it weighed down on me like a constant driving rain. And for all the scrapes my hard-headedness has gotten me into, a bad marriage is one fix it actually kept me out of. I know that my mother’s friend is in an extreme circumstance, but the fact is that any marital relationship fundamentally changes who a person is. Any intimate relationship at all does that on some level. I’m finally at a place in my life where I really like the girl I see in the mirror. And I’m happy about who she is.

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