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Archive for June, 2009

Blame God!

I’ll be the first to admit that yes, I’ve gotten angry with God over my singleness. There was a time when I was prophesied (and prophe-“lied”) to so many times that “he” was on his way or that “he” was “the one.” I was a person who was (and still is) extremely active in church–not because someone forced me or because I thought it was going to earn me some brownie points in heaven–but because I really loved God and wanted to serve him. Well, after awhile I did get to a point where I started to wonder why God was still punishing me with singleness after all these years, despite the fact that I had served him so faithfully.

The past few years have been a major time of growth for me. I’ve realized that it’s ok for me to voice my angers and frustrations to God. I mean after all, it’s not like He doesn’t know about them anyway. But voicing them has helped me come to grips with the fact that I am single and that’s it’s ok. Well, it’s ok in the sense that in the grand scheme of things, it’s not going to kill me to be single. A couple years ago I started entertaining the thought that I might be single for the rest of my life. Now don’t get me wrong. Of course that’s not what I want. But if that were the case, would I die? Certainly not. I’ve got friends, family, I stay active in my church and in my career to keep me busy. But it’s amazing how many people looked at me like I said a cuss word when I said those words. My main point was that I don’t want to settle for foolishness just for the sake of not being lonely, and if that means I have to be single then so be it. Sure, even having that attitude I get lonely sometimes, but I allow myself to live in and experience that emotion, then pray to God to not let me wallow there.

I believe God honors honesty in our singleness. People always say love happens when you least expect it or when you stop focusing on it. When I stopped focusing on my loneliness, it opened me up to stop blaming God and start doing my part by being friendly towards guys and even dating. It was very freeing to just go out, have fun and meet new, interesting people in the process without the pressure of being desparate to end my singleness. In the process, I did find love. It didn’t work out, but it was a wonderful journey that I don’t regret.

So now I’m still left with questions. Questions like “Why am I still single in my 30’s?” “Will I ever find someone else?” “When will the right one come along?” and “How much longer is this going to take?” I don’t know if the questions will ever go away. But who said it was a sin to ask questions? I believe the sin is to wallow there in worry and doubt. Who knows why things happen the way they do? Only God does. I just have to trust that He has a bigger picture in mind for me no matter whether I’m married or single.

We’re still looking for donations to help us make the movie, “Something Worth Waiting For.” If you’d like to make a donation today, just click on Donate over on the right. Thank you for your support!

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OK, so if you have ever said anything along the lines of, “Why doesn’t Hollywood ever show Christians in a positive light?” or “Why aren’t there more ‘good’ Christian movies,” then I am talking to you! If you want to see more and better films for, by and about Christians, here’s your chance to DO something about it! We need to show that these stories can be told well, and more than that, they can make money.

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As a producer, I’ve learned the hard way that it is difficult to obtain financing for an independent film, even in the best of circumstances. This is a complex business where fortunes are made and lost without pattern or predictability. This difficulty increases exponentially when that project has Christian content. I say Christian and not “faith-based” because other aspects of religion and spirituality seem to have access to programs and funding that Christians, in general, do not. (You should’ve seen the packed-out crowds and great movies at The Atlanta Jewish Film Festival this year!)

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The majority of Christian-made films we’ve seen lately have been produced by churches, parachurch ministries or studio-backed production houses. And these are terrific endeavors, but if what we’re looking for are truthful, well-told stories with complex characters, it is not pastors or teachers to whom we should look, but filmmakers. The problem is, most filmmakers don’t have the opportunity to pass the plate on a weekly basis.

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For Something Worth Waiting For, we’re passing the plate. We need your participation. We need your voice. And, yes, we need your money. Your five or twenty or hundred bucks thrown in with everyone else’s cash will help us fund a trailer that shows how great this movie can be. We need a strong online community of people who believe that this story has relevance and power. With a well-made trailer and a healthy online following, we can attract investors to get this movie made!

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But we need you to partner with us. The amount we need to raise just to make a three minute trailer is surprisingly small. Anything you can contribute will go a long way to getting it done. With God’s blessing,  you could be seeing a Christian romantic movie in theaters very soon.

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Click HERE or on the “Donate” button to the right and be a part of the Christian film revolution!!

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If you have ever been made to feel ‘less than’ or embarrassed by your solo status, Clarissa Rodney’s here to have your back. Singleness has its challenges, but as we know from dating, (and from the astronomical divorce rate) marriage isn’t always going to be a picnic either! Let’s hear it from the words of one of our fave cinematic single girls, Bridget Jones. More bloggin’ after the vid:

A few years ago, I started a job as a Marketing Manager. I was in the CEO’s office suite, which he shared with the COO.  My boss, the CEO had left for a moment. In a feeble attempt to fill the silence, the COO asked me, “Do you have a family?” At first, I honestly thought it was a weird question. Do I have a family? Of course. You know that whole stork thing is just an old wives’ tale, right? It wasn’t until I said, yes I have a family that I realized he meant to ask if I was married with children.  The look on his face went from interest to disappointment. Maybe he was disappointed in my idiocy at misunderstanding such a basic question, but I felt that he was disappointed that I was single. The deafening silence resumed until my new boss came back.

I really hate those moments when that sympathetic expression just this side of pity washes over someone’s face as they realize that I have yet to be validated by a lifetime commitment from the opposite sex.  I don’t mean to sound bitter or judgmental toward my married peeps. I love you and I do hope to join your ranks one day. But my choice to pursue my dreams of filmmaking before my dreams of marriage are no cause for your pity, nor for my embarrassment.

For a long time, I really thought the idea that I should be embarrassed by my singleness was rooted in my Christianity. There’s such an emphasis on the nuclear family in the Church that I thought my lack of participation in the procreation ritual was seen as either rebellion or failure on my part. But then I watched a couple of shows like “Sex and the City” and “Bridget Jones’ Diary.” When I saw the honest struggles of those thirty-something women in their singleness, I knew we believers weren’t alone.

Well, what’s that Eleanor Roosevelt quote? “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” If you are pursuing God and the dreams He’s given you, then you have nothing to be ashamed of. You’re obviously bright ’cause you’re reading our blog. Embrace all that is good and strong and sexy about you. Promise us that you will never, ever again let the fact of your singleness lead to self-doubt or pity. Yes, you are all that!

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We’ve all been there at some point or another. We’ve secretly rolled our eyes when a married person tells us to just “Wait on God” and “It always happens when you stop looking for it.” We’ve grumbled at the awkwardness and lack of real prospects at singles ministry  (but of course we all know we don’t really go to singles ministry to meet potential dates, right? Oh perish the thought.). We’ve felt the alienation in church when families are celebrated, we’ve felt the frustrations with God over the dateless months and years. Well it’s high time we talk about these things!

We want to talk and connect with people who have something to say about their singleness. Now don’t get us wrong, this ain’t no pity party. But every now and then we all need to just be real about what’s going on–the good as well as the bad. So let’s vent! Let’s celebrate! Let’s encourage each other in this journey! Our hope is to open up a healthy dialogue about some of the issues that singles face while trying to serve God in a hyper-sexed world. To that end, we’ve created a series of surveys and we would like your participation to help us determine what issues we should be discussing on the blog. We want to know what you might be dealing with.  Please use the following link to access this week’s survey on “Singleness and God.” Your anonymous answers will be used for research for the film and for future community discussions. There’s strength in knowing that you’re not alone. We look forward to hearing from you!

Link to survey:
http://www.surveygizmo.com/s/147881/are-you-really-saved-single-and-satisfied-

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Fires and Desires

When I first became a Christian I used to often wonder what I was supposed to do with my thoughts and desires for love. I thought that once I believed, once I prayed, once I read the Word, got active in ministry, took up a hobby—that my thoughts would go away. But they didn’t. I just had to deal with them realistically and head on.

Yes, I’m saved, single, and satisfied but what do I do when my thoughts get busy even though I’m getting busy working in ministry? I still desire a husband. And yes, at times I still desire to be held, to be kissed. In her book, “Passion and Purity,” Elizabeth Elliott says that many women often pray to God to take the desires away until their wedding day. But that’s ridiculous. God is not going to take away the desires because they’re natural, they’re human, and they’re given by Him. But the hard part is that we have to take those same desires and surrender them back to God for safe-keeping. Elliott says that if God took away our desires, then we would have nothing to offer up. Hmm…interesting concept. I guess that means surrendering our desires to God is part of a daily walk. It doesn’t come easy. But like Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:9, His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.

I’ve read several books on Christian dating. And while they all say the same thing—wait on God—they all have so many different formulas either for getting a man, for working on yourself before getting a man—or for dating itself. And quite honestly, I sometimes wonder to myself whether or not some of this stuff is even scriptural. Like when I read about Isaac and Rebecca, or Ruth and Boaz, or Solomon and the Shulammite woman, I don’t get the impression that they followed a certain order of rules or a chart that says you can’t hold hands until this stage of friendship. Don’t get me wrong, I think boundaries are great—we all need them, Lord knows I do—but at times I feel like we let these books alter our interactions with people period. All of a sudden men and women are afraid to be friends, afraid to embrace one another. Women are waiting six months for dates and in the meantime shutting men off. We’ve got so many rules drilled into our heads we don’t know what to do. Some books say we should wait until we are ready to date and we should not date but court, with prospects for marriage. We should court with a purpose. I agree whole-heartedly. But all these rules about what to do and when to do it—it just gets frustrating sometimes. My parents have been married for over 40 years and they never knew about such formulas.

So many questions for one woman, I know. I don’t pretend to have all the answers, I’m just being real about the struggles of this journey. But hey, you can’t get mad about it. Just…deal with it.

Hey, and while you’re dealing with it, why not make a donation so we can get this movie made? The link is over in the toolbar on the right. 😉

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“You see, when I first became a Christian I made this pact with God.  I told him I’d gladly give up my wild party lifestyle if he’d hook a sister up and help me maintain my goal of being married by age 30 and having my first child by 32. Well, I kept my half of the bargain.  As for God—well, I guess He’s proving to me that He operates on a different time clock. Oh, but don’t get me wrong, I’m not mad about it. I’m just…dealing with it.” – Quote from Clarissa Rodney, “Something Worth Waiting For”

…And sometimes dealing with it is half the battle.

Hi everybody! My name is Clarissa Rodney and I’m the main character of the upcoming movie “Something Worth Waiting For.” I don’t know about ya’ll but it’s hard sometimes trying to love God AND be single in this world. Just when I think I’ve got myself all together, some fine man comes along and that’s when things get complicated. Good lawd!

Am I alone in this? Let’s talk about it! In the coming weeks I’ll be posting about all the issues related to singleness–the good and the bad–and I’d love for you to join in on the discussion. After all, you know what they say, there’s strength in numbers. Maybe together we can find some strength in telling our stories and helping each other get through the journey…

Toodles!

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Hello world!

Thanks for visiting the Something Worth Waiting For website! This is where we will keep you updated on all the latest news about the upcoming film so stay tuned!

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