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Archive for October, 2009

Last night I went out with a friend to a late showing of the film “I Can Do Bad All By Myself.” I left the theater last night feeling outraged. No offense to Mr. Perry, because this is an issue I see with many Hollywood films. But why is it that whenever we see a woman onscreen in a bad relationship the solution for her to get a better life is for her to fall into the arms of a better man? For the life of me I can’t understand why we rarely see the moment in time where a woman struggles to regain her sense of self–BY HERSELF, maybe with help from friends, family and God–finds her own peace and strength BEFORE the next man comes along. Or God forbid the woman doesn’t find a new man at all. She gets rid of the old one and lives a happy life by herself. It’s almost as if men always have to be the Savior before God. I think our culture has created this mindset that we as woman cannot be happy unless we have a man or unless we are married. And Hollywood perpetuates this false notion. It’s sad because I think there are many of us who are still putting our lives and our happiness on pause because we’re waiting for the fairy tale…I’ll end my woman’s lib soap box there for now…

But I read a blog yesterday morning on Lone Prairie that spoke to this issue to a degree. It speaks to the idea of singles really learning to accept singleness as a calling and not accepting society’s status quo that men and marriage are the only path to fulfillment. I know, haven’t we heard that one before. But this article put a slightly different spin on the issue that got me to thinking. Here’s an exerpt that really spoke to me:

Why would God ask us to be single, and, seemingly, in increasing numbers these days? If you’re a last-days believer, you might think God wants more people focused on his work than raising families. I won’t berate that theory at all, frankly. Perhaps the church needed some adjustment from their idolatry of the family — and yes, it has a problem with that. If you have a family, you will not see the problem. Perhaps people are finally breaking free from culturalized Christianity of the past that caused people to marry who really shouldn’t have. What would the face of Christianity look like if a large number of its followers weren’t fettered down with children, responsibilities, and jobs? We don’t really know, but I think we will.

God is asking people to come to a place of truly accepting being single. Not for pity, not for something they lack, not because of how they were or weren’t made, not because of who they aren’t, but because of who they are. If we could shrug off this push for marriage, there are some people struggling in life that could be set free to have a purpose in the body of Christ instead of feeling second class…

Could it be that Paul was on to something when he said it would be good for us to remain single as he did? Could it be that in these last days God has so much more for us singles than we could ever imagine? I used to think that whole “it’s good to be single because you can spend that much more time serving the Lord and fulfilling your purpose” was a bunch of bullcrap, a means to put salve on the wound to a hurting soul. But the more I think about it, the older I get, I’m starting to think maybe, maybe just maybe there’s some validity there. Maybe, just maybe our lives don’t necessarily become more happy and full when we get married. Maybe we’ve bought the lie that that’s the most important thing. Right now I am working two jobs, making this film, editing someone else’s film, and helping out with a new church plant. I live a very full life that keeps me busy, but there is no way in the world I could do all this if I had to then come home and worry about taking care of a house, a husband and some kids.

What would you do if you were faced with the possibility that you will never get married? Does that idea freak you out?  That kind of view is very counter-cultural. A tough pill to swallow…maybe just chew on it for a minute like I had to. Our society has put marriage and relationships on such a pedastal that sometimes it’s easy for us singles to lose a positive sense of self. I can only pray that Hollywood will someday realize that there’s more to life…And maybe that’s why it’s time for “Something Worth Waiting For” to be made. I’ll end there so I don’t give too much of the movie away…

But Hollywood, take note……

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